I think the only thing that I miss about Dallas is the people. Again, this is me speaking without having gone through January here. I do love big cities. I just feel more alive. All those years in Dallas, I never realized what kind of comfort zone I was in until now. I'm so grateful for this opportunity to experience Chicago. I'm slowly building relationships here, whether is with people from CCUC or people from work (one may argue the authenticity of "friendships" with sales reps, but I do think of some of them as my friends), I'm starting to feel like if I leave (or is it when I leave?), they will be sad. In some ways I almost don't want to invests in people's lives if I know that I'm leaving in a short amount of time.

I do miss people in Dallas. It's sad (and yet selfish) for me to think about my close Dallas friends go about their lives without me in it. No matter how much I want it to remain the same, people and things do change. The dynamics in the relationships in the smallgroup will change. New people will continue to visit Oasis, and for the ones that end up sticking around, I won't be there to build a relationship with them. If I go back one day, things will inevitably be awkward because time did not stand still. It won't be MY smallgroup as I remember it.

How many times in my life have I had to build relationships and then leave them? Why does God continue to put that on my plate? Can't things just stay perfect forever?

On the bright side of things, I do like the fact that I'm renewing my friendship with Amy. Last night, I took her, Derek & baby Audrey to the Bargain Style magazine launch party. We went out for pizza afterwards. It was really nice just chatting with them. It's funny how 10+ years have passed since Bee and I "played" with Amy, and yet there are these little personal quirks about Amy that I still remember from 10+ years ago. Can't believe she's a mother now. And Derek, he is a super nice guy. They are a very cute/matching couple.