Washington Post's MENSA Invitational

The Washington Post once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are highlights of this year's winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

5. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

6. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

7. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

8. Glibido: All talk and no action.

9. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

10. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and a butthole. (I censored that last word.)